My belly is huge. I've gained a measly 9lbs since the start of this pregnancy (20-25lbs is average for most pregnant women) yet what has developed in my belly is nothing short of gargantuan. Something about this baby's positioning (right in front and lowish) makes me look like I have a large pumpkin under my shirt. Blue ribbon at the state fair kind of pumpkin. And I've got 5 weeks to go.
My size, waddle and the not-so-occasional grimace (LOTS of Braxton-Hicks this time) must make me quite a sight when walking down the street. This week there has been a noticeable shift in the way strangers approach me, with eyes now firmly affixed to my belly. Making eye contact is a struggle, like it's almost painful to rip their eyes from the pumpkin below and look at my face. (Is this what having big boobs is like?) People on the street crane their necks to see around the stroller and stare from blocks away, often running into eachother and even the occasional building. One guy broke his nose, so powerful was the concentration on my stomach - OK, not really, but the staring is real and one woman really did stare from across the street and crane her neck around the stroller as she approached me, never looking away from my baby belly. "The watchers" all have looks of slight fear in their eyes, like I'm going to give birth right there and ask them to help. It's kinda funny what one's pregnancy can do to others.
...Then again, sometimes it's not so funny. In addition to the staring, the reduction in boundaries has increased by leaps and bounds as well - for others, not for me so much. No longer do I get a "Hi. How are you?" when entering a store or meeting someone for the first time. Now it's "Hi. Has your baby dropped yet?" From friends and fellow mamas OK, but from the lady taking my lunch order, really?!?
People also love to touch the pregnant belly. I understand the appeal, sort of, though I've never been one to do so myself. Just because it sticks out doesn't mean it's public property (if that's the rule then...) and I would never go up to some stranger or even a friend or family member and presume they are fine with me touching them. I like my personal space and try to respect others' as well. Plus, this is an intimate touch: I work hard every day to protect and nourish this baby growing within; I'm intimately connected to this life and growing belly. It's not like my arm, there is something very special about this spot on my body and having someone come up and touch it without my permission or invitation feels like someone coming up and grabbing my boob. It's invasive and creepy and triggers my mother-bear instincts in such a way that it is all I can do not to throw that person to the other side of the room. And it doesn't really matter if I know the person or not. A hormone-driven overreaction? Perhaps. But it's my body and my baby and I have a right and an obligation to protect them both. So to the belly touchers out there: Keep your hands to yourself please. If I want you to touch me I will invite you to do so.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Friday, August 07, 2009
Nursing & Weaning a Toddler
It's been about 6 weeks since Aria became fully weaned. It happened suddenly, sort of. My milk had been drying up for a few weeks (since about 4-5 months pregnant) but Aria wasn't ready to stop completely and I didn't mind her continuing to try the couple times a day she really wanted to. But one day the milk was just gone - completely and totally - and it became excruciating to let her even try to nurse for a few moments. The timing sucked. We were in the process of moving and Aria was sick - not just the sniffles but a ravaging fever that lasted the better part of a week and could not be medically explained, hovering in the low hundreds during the day but spiking at night, once reaching close to 105. She was miserable and in need of the closeness and comfort and fluids that nursing provides; I felt horrible that I so suddenly could not give her what she needed at a time she most needed it. She awoke crying out for me and asking "Why not?!?" when I tried to explain that there was no more milk and that it hurt Mommy to try to get it. I didn't have a good explanation but could only cuddle and love on her as much as possible.
Once moved in and a bit more settled, Aria quickly stopped asking to nurse. Only recently - in the last couple of weeks - did she ask a few times, just upon waking. I was surprised as it seemed out of the blue, but it turns out she has a molar coming in that is causing her pain on and off. On the worst days she wants to nurse and can still be quite emphatic about it. I keep explaining that there is no milk, that it is all gone and try to distract her with cuddles. Many times the extra cuddles settle her, though sometimes they don't. During these more challenging moments I try to distract her with another idea - breakfast, a book, etc - and overall the request passes quickly.
Weaning has been a challenging process for the both of us. Aria was genuinely saddened by this loss, as was I. Nursing afforded us a closeness that does not come any other way. When she was sick, which she has been a lot, my milk provided her with the only nourishment she could tolerate. However, it was not just a source of nourishment but also of comfort and security. When no other thing would settle her down, nursing would. After a fall or in the midst of a tantrum, nursing was the miracle cure. Aria is an extremely active and independent child; her requests to nurse came at moments of shyness or feeling overwhelmed or tired or in the wee hours of the morning when needing the reassurance I was nearby. Though I wanted to wean her before the arrival of the new baby, I did not envision the end to come so quickly or at such a traumatic moment. I would have rather done it more gently and gradually, giving her time to get through the move and certainly the illness.
Many family and friends did not understand my decision to nurse my older child. It is not what we do here in the US, despite recommendations from the WHO and other health organizations. To Americans, nursing long-term is neither convenient nor the norm and so it makes us uncomfortable. When a child becomes old enough to mimic nursing, as mine has done frequently, the sight brings about nervous laughter and raised eyebrows. Nursing a toddler in public is much more scandalous. But what about the health, security and comfort of that child? Isn't that more important than convenience and uptight viewpoints? There was a time - around 18 months - that I started to get restless in my nursing of Aria; at that point support was hard to find and my girl's frequent nighttime nursing sessions were frustrating at times. But my attempts to wean were met with such torment that I knew it was best to continue; yes, she's a determined child, but this was not manipulation, this was real need for connection and comfort. I do not question my decision to continue at all, only wish that it was a more common one amongst those I know - not because they have made a wrong decision, but because every mom wants the camaraderie of a shared experience and the support of loved ones.
In the days to come I wonder now about how Aria will feel about the new baby nursing. The subject came up for the first time a few days ago while reading a toddler-focused book on pregnancy and adding a new baby to the family. Explaining that the new baby will get to nurse but that Aria could not was difficult and I felt at a loss for an adequate explanation. Apparently she did too, as she was not thrilled with this idea. That and another discussion on sharing with the new baby led to a complete toddler meltdown. Subsequent readings of the same book - which she loves and requests often - have been more successful, though, with only the occasional nursing question. She rests her hand on my belly while reading and asks if her baby sister is in Mommy's belly. I'm hoping that moments and discussions like this, though sometimes hard at first, are slowly preparing her for her new sister. She knows she's coming and though confused about how the appearance will occur (often looking out the window or asking if a noise she heard is her baby sister coming), talks about it often. Sometimes she's excited, sometimes she's nervous and not ready. Thankfully, we have some time. Time for me to enjoy being just Aria's mommy, time for Aria to enjoy being an only child. Our worlds will change soon enough. When that happens it will be amazing and wonderful in many ways, but we will not be able to get back these moments alone with our first beautiful girl. So, I can wait a bit longer to meet this new little one, because what I have in front of me is just spectacular.
Once moved in and a bit more settled, Aria quickly stopped asking to nurse. Only recently - in the last couple of weeks - did she ask a few times, just upon waking. I was surprised as it seemed out of the blue, but it turns out she has a molar coming in that is causing her pain on and off. On the worst days she wants to nurse and can still be quite emphatic about it. I keep explaining that there is no milk, that it is all gone and try to distract her with cuddles. Many times the extra cuddles settle her, though sometimes they don't. During these more challenging moments I try to distract her with another idea - breakfast, a book, etc - and overall the request passes quickly.
Weaning has been a challenging process for the both of us. Aria was genuinely saddened by this loss, as was I. Nursing afforded us a closeness that does not come any other way. When she was sick, which she has been a lot, my milk provided her with the only nourishment she could tolerate. However, it was not just a source of nourishment but also of comfort and security. When no other thing would settle her down, nursing would. After a fall or in the midst of a tantrum, nursing was the miracle cure. Aria is an extremely active and independent child; her requests to nurse came at moments of shyness or feeling overwhelmed or tired or in the wee hours of the morning when needing the reassurance I was nearby. Though I wanted to wean her before the arrival of the new baby, I did not envision the end to come so quickly or at such a traumatic moment. I would have rather done it more gently and gradually, giving her time to get through the move and certainly the illness.
Many family and friends did not understand my decision to nurse my older child. It is not what we do here in the US, despite recommendations from the WHO and other health organizations. To Americans, nursing long-term is neither convenient nor the norm and so it makes us uncomfortable. When a child becomes old enough to mimic nursing, as mine has done frequently, the sight brings about nervous laughter and raised eyebrows. Nursing a toddler in public is much more scandalous. But what about the health, security and comfort of that child? Isn't that more important than convenience and uptight viewpoints? There was a time - around 18 months - that I started to get restless in my nursing of Aria; at that point support was hard to find and my girl's frequent nighttime nursing sessions were frustrating at times. But my attempts to wean were met with such torment that I knew it was best to continue; yes, she's a determined child, but this was not manipulation, this was real need for connection and comfort. I do not question my decision to continue at all, only wish that it was a more common one amongst those I know - not because they have made a wrong decision, but because every mom wants the camaraderie of a shared experience and the support of loved ones.
In the days to come I wonder now about how Aria will feel about the new baby nursing. The subject came up for the first time a few days ago while reading a toddler-focused book on pregnancy and adding a new baby to the family. Explaining that the new baby will get to nurse but that Aria could not was difficult and I felt at a loss for an adequate explanation. Apparently she did too, as she was not thrilled with this idea. That and another discussion on sharing with the new baby led to a complete toddler meltdown. Subsequent readings of the same book - which she loves and requests often - have been more successful, though, with only the occasional nursing question. She rests her hand on my belly while reading and asks if her baby sister is in Mommy's belly. I'm hoping that moments and discussions like this, though sometimes hard at first, are slowly preparing her for her new sister. She knows she's coming and though confused about how the appearance will occur (often looking out the window or asking if a noise she heard is her baby sister coming), talks about it often. Sometimes she's excited, sometimes she's nervous and not ready. Thankfully, we have some time. Time for me to enjoy being just Aria's mommy, time for Aria to enjoy being an only child. Our worlds will change soon enough. When that happens it will be amazing and wonderful in many ways, but we will not be able to get back these moments alone with our first beautiful girl. So, I can wait a bit longer to meet this new little one, because what I have in front of me is just spectacular.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Happy New Year!
I've been knitting so much lately. Christmas gifts galore. I mean, really, I'm a knitting machine! Ok, so all the gifts were late. And there are a couple items I wanted to get done that I didn't...In reality, I think I tried to do a bit too much considering I have a 7 month old baby. Somehow I thought I could do more knitting than last year (pre-baby). Silly. But the items I did finish turned out really well - a grey tweed scarf for my father-in-law, Roller Girl Legwarmers for my sis (she's been wanting those for a couple years now) and mittens for 3 of Aria's best friends. Oh, and I finally finished the Chevron scarf. It was on the needles for over a year, an eventful year no doubt, but still...that's just sad.
Of course, I forgot to take pics of any but the scarf and the mittens. And I haven't uploaded those to my computer yet...
The mittens are exciting for me b/c it's the first pattern that I created myself. A simple one, to be sure, but a girl's gotta start somewhere. I've altered patterns here and there - the Father-in-Law Scarf (a 5x5 dark grey rib with 3 black stripes on each end; total length of about 75ish inches) was an altered version of one I made my husband a couple years ago but these I came up with all on my own. I did do some research, looking for a pattern I liked, but I could never find exactly what I wanted. And so the Eastern Market Mittens were conceived. I'll post the pattern soon.
Of course, I forgot to take pics of any but the scarf and the mittens. And I haven't uploaded those to my computer yet...
The mittens are exciting for me b/c it's the first pattern that I created myself. A simple one, to be sure, but a girl's gotta start somewhere. I've altered patterns here and there - the Father-in-Law Scarf (a 5x5 dark grey rib with 3 black stripes on each end; total length of about 75ish inches) was an altered version of one I made my husband a couple years ago but these I came up with all on my own. I did do some research, looking for a pattern I liked, but I could never find exactly what I wanted. And so the Eastern Market Mittens were conceived. I'll post the pattern soon.
Friday, August 24, 2007
A Slow Return to Normalcy
It's been so long since I've done any serious knitting. Instead, I've been busy with a brand new baby girl, whom I adore. Now that she's 3 1/2 months old, I'm finally getting back to knitting - oh, so slowly. (Read about our family's adventures in babydom at thenelsontale.blogspot.com).
What have I done, you ask? Well, I just completed the last inch of i-cord on the umbilical cord hat (Stitch 'n Bitch) that I knit almost in it's entirety before Aria (my little one) was born. Doesn't sound like much, but believe me, I was ecstatic to do this much knitting after so long away.
Now I'm working on the Chevron scarf that I started at the dawn of time. I need to finish it in order to start a pullover I want to make for Aria. The beautiful hemp yarn is all rolled up and waiting ever so patiently for me to begin, but alas, the needles are stuck in the Chevron. I'm getting a few rows in a day; at this rate I'll be able to start the pullover just in time for Aria to outgrow it.
Super Mittens for Grandpa
Uptown Scarf for Grandma
What have I done, you ask? Well, I just completed the last inch of i-cord on the umbilical cord hat (Stitch 'n Bitch) that I knit almost in it's entirety before Aria (my little one) was born. Doesn't sound like much, but believe me, I was ecstatic to do this much knitting after so long away.
Now I'm working on the Chevron scarf that I started at the dawn of time. I need to finish it in order to start a pullover I want to make for Aria. The beautiful hemp yarn is all rolled up and waiting ever so patiently for me to begin, but alas, the needles are stuck in the Chevron. I'm getting a few rows in a day; at this rate I'll be able to start the pullover just in time for Aria to outgrow it.
There are a few items I've completed since the last posting. Granted, these were Christmas gifts, so it's still been awhile. Both are from Weekend Knitting. Not shown are the completed French Market Bag (Knitty.com) and a pair of Tweed Slippers from Sarah Dallas Knitting both of which were gifted to my dear sis.
Super Mittens for Grandpa
Uptown Scarf for GrandmaSaturday, September 02, 2006
Finished Objects
To get this blog kicked off a bit, I'm posting a few pix of finished objects (FOs). Because, really, what is a blog without pix?
Crystal Palace Chenille Yarn
Here are a few washcloths from Weekend Knitting. The purple one went to my dear, sweet grandma for Mother's Day. A few weeks later I visited them (grandparents, not washcloths) only to find that the washcloth had become so popular in the house that both of my grandparents were fighting over it, a literal tug of war. Ok, not literal, but I must remember to make grandpa one in a manly color before the offending cloth is torn apart.
Blue Sky Alpacas Blue Sky Cotton in Flamingo (627)
Also made this adorable Children's Cotton Hat from LMKGs. My mom was supposed to give it to a friend as a gift, but by the time she got around to it, the child was too big. The poor thing (hat, not child) is now collecting dust somewhere in a box in her closet. So sad - not the kind of life you want your knitted objects (KOs) to have.Thursday, August 24, 2006
Podcasts Discovered
I am no longer an iPod virgin. With this week's gift from my adored husband, I have discovered a whole new world - that of Podcasts. Though a bit of a late bloomer, I am quickly learning the ropes and already becoming addicted to a few of the best knitting podcasts.
Lime&Violet - You two are hilarious. Literally laughing at loud. at work. in an office of 4 people. I may have to save your shows til after hours.
Cast-On is another fave. I've listed to this one a few times via the web, but oh, to have 24-hr access at my fingertips.
If anyone has recommendations, please do send them on, as I'm eager to find others.
Other news: This weekend's sale at Knit Happens has facilitated my first experience with Koigu KPPM. Stay tuned...I'll be knitting up LMKG's Chevron Scarf.
Lime&Violet - You two are hilarious. Literally laughing at loud. at work. in an office of 4 people. I may have to save your shows til after hours.
Cast-On is another fave. I've listed to this one a few times via the web, but oh, to have 24-hr access at my fingertips.
If anyone has recommendations, please do send them on, as I'm eager to find others.
Other news: This weekend's sale at Knit Happens has facilitated my first experience with Koigu KPPM. Stay tuned...I'll be knitting up LMKG's Chevron Scarf.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Love Birds
This is my husband and me at Skyline Drive (fall 2006).
Our big heads are in the way of a beautiful view, but aren't we cute?
Our big heads are in the way of a beautiful view, but aren't we cute?
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